One Last Adventure
by DoctorHoneytongue
Summary: Perhaps the world is not as small as it may seem. Mere wives tales, they say, are the stories of lands undiscovered, are the whispers of creatures that dwell within these parts. How can you be absolutely sure, though, that there is not a great civilization growing somewhere beneath our feet? Oh, right. You can't.
1. Prologue: A Bedtime Story

"I met someone today." The voice filters through the speakers of your laptop, a bit cracked and muffled, but you were used to the shitty quality by now. It was a general norm - two out of the four of you had a rather horrid connection. It's surprising that those particular two managed to get on the internet at all, really.

"Haha, does Rose _finally_ have a love interest? Gonna get your mack on with some hot piece of ass?" Another voice, this time a male's. The speech pattern was tinted with a prominent Southern drawl and accompanied by a flash of movement from the upper right-hand corner of your screen. It seemed the acclaimed Rose had tossed some object at her webcam in an attempt to threaten the guy. Silly Rose, did you really think that would work? No, of course you didn't. As expected, the projectile weapon had bounced uselessly away, though the figure in the lower left corner of your screen still ducked. This earned quite a few giggles, just as the sunglass-wearing kid knew it would.

"Play nice, children!" Yet another voice, a girl's, this one accompanied by a roll of eyes from the lower right of your screen. "Who _did_ you meet today, Rose? If not a 'hot piece of ass?'" Another bout of laughter, though a threatening look quieted them down fast.

"Since you're all so interested, I happened to meet a rather quaint old woman. She has the oddest reputation for being some crackpot fool, and though she was very kind, I can see where some would get that idea. This woman told me a variety of things, some of which are certainly the product of a deranged mind, and the others? Well, I'm not so sure. She told me one thing in particular, however, that captured my attention. A story about some mythical land hidden somewhere on this very planet. Would you like me to retell it?"

The only reply was three bobbing heads, all nodding a yes. This as well was a rather frequent thing, Rose's storytelling. She aspired to be an author, and her voice was absolutely perfect for telling tales of any sort. Really, she could read you the Terms and Conditions from any website and you would be completely entrapped simply because of her voice. The blonde smiled slightly, adjusting into a more comfortable position and you find yourself doing the same. Burrowing under your great expanse of pillows and blankets you await the story's beginning, eager as a child.

"According to legend, or so I'm told, there were once four explorers, two men and two women, set on discovering something new in the world. At this point, that was a very possible thing, as it was before even the times of Columbus - but what these people happened upon was not what they expected. Really, they probably went out in search of gold, diamonds, or other precious substances; so when they found what looked like a staircase into the bowels of the earth, they didn't hesitate to take a stroll down inside. It was likely they believed it was some type of abandoned mine, and at the bottom they would find riches beyond their belief. That assumption wasn't completely far from the truth.  
"So, they lit their torches and began their journey. Apparently the staircase went on for an extremely long time; long enough to warrant pauses to camp out, cook, and eat. Of course, they were deep underground, so an accurate number of days is impossible to decipher. Along they way they found huge gems in the walls, the likes of which never seen before. They sparkled so brightly that the explorers put out their torches and merely followed the light the stones cast. They decided not to stop, because if there were things this amazing along the way, what wonders would await at the very end?  
"Eventually, that end was reached and before them was a great expanse of _trees_. There was light too, of course, clearly coming from above; almost as if this forest was basking under the warmth of a sun. Though, it couldn't have been a very good sun, as it was still quite dark. Unfortunately, the foliage was simply too thick see through, and the light source remained a mystery. For a little while longer, at least. Our faithful explorers pushed onward, determined to find out exactly where they were, and soon enough reached the edge of the forest. They stepped out from between thick tree trunks, peered over the edge of a gigantic cliff, and were greeted with the sight of a _city. _  
"It was eerily empty, and soon they would find out why, for a stealthy figure had been following them for a long while. It's unclear what happened next, but after some sort of situation, they manged to convince this creature not to harm them. Apparently, she said, the light from the sun was too strong to bare, and everyone who was smart kept inside during the day. Whoever she was had a body just like a human's, though her skin was completely gray. She had orange horns on the top of her head and the darkest hair. Her eyes were all yellow, save for a black pupil, though it is said that they eventually changed. Oh, and if you think that's strange - she had _green blood._ She called herself a troll, and seemed very proud of that fact.  
"They stayed with this troll for many years, though the exact amount is undetermined. Eventually they struck up a great friendship over the two 'sweeps' they lived with her. She told them all about the place they had found, of her world. It was called _Alternia, _and the others that lived there were trolls such as she. Though each of them had the same skin and hair color, their horns and all other aspects were individual. They grew up on their own, though they weren't completely alone, as they were given a 'lusus,' which was a great white beast that cared for them like a guardian. These creatures also came in a great variety.  
"The color of blood was very important to them, almost like race is to some us, and each color was almost like a social class. The Empress, ruler of the land - and apparently a horrid one at that - had the highest blood color, fuchsia. At some point in time, this Empress found out about the humans in her land and... Well, let's just say that was the end to our brave explorers."

It was completely silent for several moments as each of you took it all in, basking in the afterglow of a freshly told story. An entire world located underground? That was something for Hollywood to take a look at, that's for sure.

"If they died, how did anyone find out their story?" You blurt, speaking the question as it flows through your mind without giving it a single thought. You should stop doing that, really. Rose didn't seem to mind, though, and she smiled at you over camera, your other two friends nodding in agreement.

"Their bodies were found next to a pile of collapsed stone, burns all over their skin and eyes melted straight from their skulls. The corpses were returned to their families, and upon one was a journal with a record of the above and then some. On the last page, though, written in a pink color along with an unknown language, was the phrase 'keep out.' Before you bother asking, the language was unknown, but the boy who wrote the journal had details that helped decipher the code. I suppose it was written in the Alternian language. The father sent the journal in to the authorities and never heard back from them.  
"The woman who told me this story said that that man was an ancestor of her's. They passed the story down from generation to generation, making sure the explorer's legacy was never forgotten. Now, I don't know if this is just another delusion of her decaying mind, but the way she spoke... I have my doubts. She was sincere, to say the least and very confident with every word she spoke.  
"With that, I leave you. Goodnight, my dear friends."

There were a few mumbled goodnights, and despite the fact that each of you were in a different time zone, it was late for all. Within moments everyone else had departed as well, leaving you staring at a blank screen. You push your laptop away and snuggle deeper into your cocoon of blankets, snoring within moments.

Somewhere behind your sleeping eyes played dreams of underground cities and trolls with candy-corn colored horns. The story of Alternia was not one you were soon to forget.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Yup, okay, this is a thing that's happening. It's official. I just want to warn you that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and I apologize for everything in advance.  
Also, disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck or any of the characters, bluhbluhbluh, you all know the drill.


	2. Chapter 1: A Discovery

You are John Egbert, and despite the previously stated, you have forgotten about the story of Alternia. It's not your fault, really, it's mainly because who in their right mind is pestering you at this time of night don't people have anything better to do? You're wrapped tightly in a nest of blankets, protecting yourself from the chill of the outside world. As much as you really would (not) love to reach out and grab your laptop, - seriously, you should have learned to turn that thing off before bed by now - that would be sending whichever limb you choose to sacrifice into the icy air, destined to freeze to death. You're completely positive limbs can freeze to death. Still, that quick _pingping, pingping,_ is ringing in your ears, and for some strange reason, it seems to have quite an angry tone.

Groaning to yourself, you grab the laptop from the ground and swing into a sitting position, a pile of blankets hanging onto your shoulders. The sudden rush of blood to your head makes you feel dizzy, swooning slightly as you run your fingers over the trackpad. The screen lights up in an almost blinding way and you lift a hand to rub your temples. This was not a good idea. The pinging had stopped at this point - you could have just gone back to sleep! But it's too late now, so you glance at the time before clicking open the frantically blinking Pesterchum window. Great, it's 4:57 AM on a Saturday night in the middle of summer and who's this douchebag? You've never seen that chumhandle, that's for sure.

**- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -  
CG:** HELLO, JOHN.  
**CG: **IF THAT IS YOUR NAME.  
**CG: **I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW  
**CG:** OH SHIT  
**CG: **SKDFHASJLDFK:ADSKFHASDJ  
**CG:** DSAKFHJSASDF  
**- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -**

Right, okay, that was weird. Too bad you no longer care. It was clearly just some idiot troll, anyway. You shut the laptop and toss it to the floor, flopping onto your stomach and burring your face in the pillows. It would have been rather pathetic if you died by suffocation in that manner, though, so you eventually roll onto your side and are catching the zzz's within seconds.

When you next awake, it's at a much more reasonable hour. Judging by the slant of the sun through your windows, probably around ten in the morning. It's a bit _too_ late for your liking - you don't prefer wasting the day away - but oh well. Your slumber was interrupted last night and that is more than a good enough excuse to slip a few more hours onto your sleep regiment.

Now, though, you have to get up and you do so with just a bit less complaining than you had almost five hours ago. Grumbling to yourself you get started on your daily morning ritual without so much as a falter in your steps. You had gone to the bathroom, downstairs, made some toast, peanut buttered that baby up, taken it back upstairs, and turned on your laptop before you were even fully awake. Crunching your toast rather cheerily you slide over to your desk and toss aside all the clutter. As you wait for the electronic contraption to boot up, you bend and grab your graduation cap from the floor.

It was square, blue, had that stupid dangling thing, and looked absolutely ridiculous. You can't imagine how horrible you must have looked wearing that thing coupled with the matching blue gown, stumbling your way across the stage to get your diploma. Dad had taken a thousand pictures and a video, of course, but you'd really rather not see your stupidity on film. You huff softly as you type a password in your laptop, thoughts drifting as the device loads your personal settings.

You had graduated at the ripe age of eighteen, and once this summer ends you'll be moving off to college. You wouldn't be majoring in anything special, really; teaching and the musical arts. It's pretty safe to assume that you want to be a music teacher of some sort. How well that's going to work out for you is a mystery. You hope for very well, but you never know what could go wrong.

By this time, the laptop was humming, windows popping up all over the place. You sign on to Pesterchum and are immediately attacked with messages. It seems people aren't used to you sleeping in this late.

**- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -  
****TG:** dude  
**TG:** what are you doing**  
****TG:** shit man its like ten at night  
**TG: **dont tell me youre just waking up now

Well, that's Dave Strider. Your best bro, your partner in crime, tú bueno amigo... Okay, no, you don't speak Spanish. Rather, no hablo Español. That's enough, this is stupid. Anyway, Dave's been your best friend since all of you were around 12. He lives in some place that's much too far away for your liking (it's Texas. That place is Texas), just like the rest of your people in your group of friends. He's some sort of ironic coolkid and he wears this pair of sunglasses you got him like it's his religion or something.

**EB:** i'm pretty sure it's like ten in the morning, actually?  
**EB: **unless all my clocks are wrong.  
**EB: **and, you know, the sun too.  
**EB:** maybe if you took off those shades you'd realize that it's not actually dark out, doofus!

Before Dave even has a chance to reply, another window pops open on your screen. Well, today's certainly going to be a busy day, what with all this conversation making. You don't know if you can handle all these windows exploding all over the place and bombarding you with text (for the record, that was sarcasm. You can easily handle both windows and text).

**- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]** -  
**TT:** Have you talked to Jade?

Rose Lalonde. What could you possibly say about her? She's absolutely brilliant, an amazing author, and also snarky as hell. She probably has one of the best sense of humors out of all the girls you've ever met. Ever. Also, she looks so much like Dave you could swear those two were twins. Their birthdays are only a day apart, too. There are definitely some shenanigans going on here.

**EB:** not today, no.  
**EB: **why, should i?  
**TT:** It seems my last story has gotten to her.  
**TT: **That, or she's gone completely insane.  
**TT:** Either option is plausible.  
**TT: **I'll allow her to explain.  
**- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -**

Alright, you suppose it's time to talk to a certain Jade Harley, then. She's probably the most eccentric out of all four of you, but you love her just the same. She has a tendency to fall under the spell of narcolepsy and falls asleep at random intervals. She has a huge garden that she lives off of completely, though she's convinced that her pumpkins vanish. Becquerel is her massive, completely white dog that must have some supernatural abilities or something because you're pretty sure normal house pets don't work the way that animal does. Oh, and she lives on an island in the middle of the Pacific ocean.  
Ignoring the continuous blinking of Dave's Pesterchum window, you click open a chat with Jade.

**- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -**  
**EB: **hey jade!  
**GG: **hi john! :D  
**GG:** i was just about to message you.  
**GG: **are you turning psychic on me?  
**EB: **nah, i'm pretty sure you're the psychic one in this situation.  
**EB: **hehe.  
**EB: **so what's up?  
**GG: **oh, rose talked to you didnt she?  
**GG:** that surprise ruiner :(  
**EB: **she didn't tell me anything.  
**EB: **just that i should message you!  
**EB: **so what's the surprise?  
**GG: **okay, well.  
**GG: **youre probably not going to believe this, but...  
**GG: **i think i found the entrance to alternia! :D  
**EB: **what?  
**GG: **yeah!  
**GG: **i know it sounds crazy, but i swear!  
**GG: **i was exploring the ruins as usual and everything was the same as always  
**GG: **except there was this big hole in the ground with these stone stairs going down!  
**GG: **and there were all these shiny little rocks around the opening.**  
****GG: **im serious, john, i swear :(  
**EB: **okay, okay.  
**EB: **i believe you.  
**EB: **but what do you plan to do about it?  
**GG: **well...  
**EB: **well?  
**GG: **well  
**GG: **i was kind of hoping all of you would fly over and explore it with me!  
**GG: **i mean, i know its sort of short notice...**  
****GG: **but just think!  
**GG: **one last adventure before you all go running off to college!  
**GG: **it could be fun (:  
**EB:** wow, i don't know...  
**GG: **please?  
**GG: **it would mean a lot to me!  
**EB: **i'll need some time to think about it...  
**GG: **poo :(  
**GG: **thats what rose and dave said too!  
**GG:** but thats alright.  
**GG: **take your time :)  
**- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -**

Wow.  
Just wow.  
The entrance to Alternia? That's absolutely insane. Jade's officially lost her marbles. They're all gone. Scattered across that entire island she lives on. A few even fell down the magical hole to the underground city, you bet. Some trolls are going to be very confused when they find her marbles up and invading their territory. Still, it would be nice to see all of them one more time before college. With Dave going off to study music, Rose going to major in pretty much absolutely everything imaginable, and Jade taking her explorations a step further, you're pretty sure none of you are going to have time for each other anymore. Yeah, one last adventure. That sounded nice. You'd wait to see what everyone else said first, though, and... Oh shit, Dave!  
With flying fingers you click his chat open, skimming the wall of red text he left behind. You really should know better than to leave him to his own devices like that.

**TG:** dude no  
**TG:** the shades never come off  
**TG: **im too cool to look at the same sun as all you losers  
**TG: **plus if i take these babies off who knows what would happen  
**TG:** the world would just swoon at my beauty  
**TG:** angels would sing in a sweet chorus  
**TG: **jesus and all his flying bitches would fly down from heaven just to look at me  
**TG: **every woman everywhere would start tearing their clothes off  
**TG: **wait all that stuff happens anyway  
**TG: **are you even paying attention to me  
**TG: **your silence is like a huge dickslap to the face  
**TG: **you just hypothetically slapped my face with your dick  
**TG: **hypothetically  
**TG:** is that the right word for this situation  
**TG: **who cares youre still gay  
**TG:** well fuck you and your dickslapping silence  
**- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -  
****- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -  
****TG: **the fact that you didnt come chasing after me is highly offensive  
**TG: **i dont need your shit dude  
**TG: **i can find myself a better man  
**TG: **one who doesnt neglect me like you do  
**TG: **whipping me with your studded belt every night  
**TG: **wait no thats one of my kinks  
**EB: **...  
**EB: **i think that's enough now.  
**TG: **oh hey bro  
**TG:** sup  
**EB: **...  
**EB:** okay, whatever.  
**EB: **i just talked to jade.  
**TG: **aw damn  
**TG: **did miss alternia tell you about her crazy plan  
**EB:** yeah.  
**EB: **i kinda think it would be fun!  
**EB: **i mean, even if we do end up crawling into a dark hole in the ground  
**EB: **we'll all be together!  
**TG: **yeah those were pretty much my thoughts  
**TG: **so were doing this shit?  
**EB: **we're making it happen.  
**TG: **fuck yeah  
**- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -**

So that was that, then. It's official. The four of you (granted Rose agrees, but she always does) were going to pack up your shit, fly to the Pacific, and go in search for the Lost City of Alternia. Hey, that kind of has a ring to it. Journey to the Center of Alternia. The Chronicles of Alternia. John, Rose, Dave, Jade, and Alternia. The Alternian Games... Alright, this is really stupid. The point still stands.

One last adventure awaits you and you have a feeling that this one's going to be good.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** And there's chapter one, woohoo! I have no idea how often this is going to be updated, but if enough people show interest, it'll be pretty often. Also, I'm absolute shit when it comes to grammar and spelling and pretty much the entire English language. If you find any mistakes, let me know. Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated, good or bad! Hope you guys enjoy C:


End file.
